The Sunderland Revenge
by ZerstorenByRage
Summary: Our wonderful lizard dude Sunderland wants revenge on Pyramid Head for killing Maria back in the hospital. Chaos emerges, Laura comes up with a fruity idea, and James gets locked in closets. A LOT. Well, not really.


Ahur-hur everyone! (I LOVE THAT SILENT HILL 2 CHIBI!!! IT'S SO FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!) Anyhoos, ON WITH THE THING!! AND THE LOON IS HERE ONCE AGAIN!! I think. Well, I'll shut up now, READ N' REVIEW!! TIS ALL I ASK! *ahem* I have a thing about James' last name. I have absolutely no idea why. It's fun to say! Yay! Sunderland! I shall calm down now. Now, ON WITH THE DRUNKEN CLAMS. CLAM CLAM CLAM. Ok I'll stop. ^_____^  
  
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James Sunderland despised shapes. (kinda weird for a guy to hate shapes, isn't it? O__o) Especially the pyramid. Ever since that day Maria was killed back in the hospital, he began to hate very shape and he'd been wanting to get revenge on Pyramid Head badly. Every time he saw a pyramid, he'd go crazy and start throwing random things at people. He once threw a remote out the window and ended up hitting someone *cough*Harry*cough* because a pyramid was shown on TV. Now that he was talking care of Laura, he never got the chance to go back to Silent Hill to find Pyramid Head. Oh and Laura still tricked him into rooms and locking him inside. Nothing new there. But today was normal. *gasp!* Or was it...? MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA! *ahem*  
  
Laura: (in her room) Hey James, can you help me get something out? It's sorta heavy.  
  
James: (mumbling) This better not be another trick again. (goes to her room) What is it?  
  
Laura: It's in the closet. __ __  
  
James: (looks inside) There's nothing----  
  
SLAM!!  
  
Yup, Laura had locked him in the closet once again.   
  
James: LAURA!!! Damnit, sixth time this week. Laura, unlock the door.  
  
Laura: (in James' room taking all his underwear)  
  
James: (banging on the door) *sigh* I've said it once, but I'll say it again, YOU SNOTTY LITTLE BRAT!! OPEN UP!!  
  
Laura: I'll pretend I didn't hear that!! (outside caulking his underwear to his car)  
  
James: LAURA!!!!!  
  
Laura: Fine, fine. (goes back in and unlocks it) Jeez, you scream more than Angela.  
  
James: Grrr.... (stomps to his room and slams the door)  
  
Laura: (shakes head) Moron.  
  
James: WHERE THE HELL IS ALL MY UNDERWEAR!?!?!?  
  
Laura: Hehehe...  
  
James: (comes out) Where is all my underwear?  
  
Laura: (points to his car)  
  
James: O__O  
  
Ah yes, Laura has struck again. People who were walking by saw his car and began laughing. (well who wouldn't?)  
  
James: (furiously begins ripping the underwears off) Aw crap, it ripped.  
  
5 min later...  
  
James: DAMN!   
  
His car had some ripped parts still stuck to it. He had no more underwear. The car now looked like as if someone had painted dots on it. James was standing there extremely pissed, pairs of ripped underwear in hand. He desperatly need to hurt something. Bad. At this point, he wanted to hurt Laura. He then realized he had Silent Hill to take out all his anger on.  
  
James: (through gritted teeth) Laura...we're going to Silent Hill...get your stuff and let's go.  
  
Laura: (runs back inside)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
On the road...  
  
Laura: James, I've been wondering...  
  
James: Hmm?  
  
Laura: Why do you have such a crappy car?  
  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Sorry, had to do that. ^__^  
  
James: (ignores) Let's just listen to the radio. (turns it on)  
  
radio: (static)  
  
James: Well, that's just great.  
  
They finally reached Silent Hill and, yup, everything was the same when they were last there. Blood on the road, all that good stuff.  
  
Laura: There's something in the middle of the road.  
  
James gets out and goes to see what it was. For some weird reason, his radio magically appeared in his pocket.  
  
James: What the fruit?  
  
In the middle of the road, there were two Mannequins, a Straitjacket, and a Faceless Nurse playing poker.  
  
Nurse: Well, I'm out.  
  
Mannequin#1: Same here.  
  
Straitjacket: Blah.  
  
Mannequin#2: WHOO HOO!! I WIN AGAIN!! (jumps on the table and dances)   
  
Eww....that would be a weird sight.  
  
James: Excuse me, uh....demonic things.  
  
They all look up.  
  
Nurse: Hey, I know you. You're that one dude with the big head and green eyes right? Looking for his dead wife?  
  
James: Um...yeah. Anyhow, uh...is the hotel still there?  
  
Nurse: Yup. Oh and the roads are gone again. So you have to do what you did last time.  
  
James: Go through all that shit again?!  
  
Mannequin#2: Nonono, she means go across the lake.  
  
James: And how can I do that? I don't have a boat.  
  
Straitjacket: Take that one. (points to a speedboat)  
  
James: Where'd that come from? That wasn't there ten minutes ago.  
  
Straitjacket: Who knows. This town's gone more whacked since the last time I'd been there.  
  
A sandwich hits James on the head.  
  
James: Hey!!  
  
Laura: Whould you hurry it up!?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ON THE BOAT!!!  
  
Laura: Y'know, you didn't have to bring your car. It'll still be there when we get back. It was in the same place last time.  
  
James: Well, I didn't feel like taking all the stuff out.  
  
Laura: How hard is it to take out a handgun, shotgun, rifle---  
  
James: THAT GIANT FREAKIN KNIFE IS IN THERE!!!  
  
Laura: Oooohhhhh.....I see...  
  
James: Now shut up until we get to the hotel.  
  
Laura: (growls)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AT THE LAKEVIEW HOTEL!!!!  
  
James: Whoo....I'm finally here...  
  
Claire: (appears) THAT'S MY LINE!!  
  
James: '__'...  
  
Claire: Bye now! Hey....you remind me of Sherry! ^__^ (walks away)  
  
Laura: What the...?  
  
James: We'd....better get inside.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
INSIDE THE HOTEL PLACE THINGY!!  
  
James: *sighs* Still how it was. -__-i  
  
THE RADIO STARTS BLARING!!  
  
Laura: What is that?  
  
James: (turns off light and radio) Shut up...  
  
For some really weird reason, it was Pyramid Head walking down the hallway scratching his butt. He had just woken up.  
  
PHead: (yawns) I want a sandwich. (goes inside the restaurant)  
  
James: (twitches) Let's....go. Laura....hello?  
  
Laura: (sitting on the ground like Sherry)  
  
James: *sighs* It's just Pyramid Head. (twiches)  
  
Laura: F-fine.  
  
Both goes inside the restaurant.  
  
James: (has chainsaw in hand) You!  
  
P-Head: (turns around) Huh?  
  
James: You were the one who killed Maria. Twice. On the same day. Which sucks. For that, I shall get my revenge.  
  
2nd P-Head: (wearing an apron) Who the hell's that guy?  
  
P-Head: Remember? That one guy we were chasing to the elevator and you killed----oops.  
  
James: SO IT WAS YOU!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! (turns on chainsaw and goes psychotic)  
  
P-Head: (sits there eating eggs and pancakes)  
  
Laura: (sits next to P-Head)  
  
P-Head: Hi.  
  
Laura: What'cha eating?  
  
P-Head: Breakfast.  
  
Laura: Cool.  
  
Screaming and bashing is heard in the background.  
  
James: (psychotic laughter) I'm gonna get you one freakin way or another. MUAHAHAHA!!  
  
P-Head: Well, I'm goin' upstairs and finish eating up there. (leaves)  
  
Laura: Well I'm stuck with crazy James again.   
  
James: Laura!! Help me here!!  
  
Laura: You tied him up to the chair?  
  
P-Head2: Help!! Where's my spear?  
  
James: (slicing it up)  
  
P-Head2: NOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
James: IT ALL BEGINS NOW!!!!!!!!! (starts chainsaw)  
  
P-Head2: HOLY CRAP!!!!  
  
Laura: JAMES!! WAIT!! I got an idea. (whispers)  
  
P-Head2: ???  
  
James: WHOO-WHEE!!! GOOD IDEA!! Laura, markers.  
  
P-Head2: ???  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Few hours later....  
  
Pyramid Head is sitting there with make-up and a drawn on face that looks like this: '__' A very weird sight indeed. Laura's plan was obviously a makeover. IT'S ANYBODY'S HORROR!!! James had carved PH's head (ooo...weird) into a flower using the chainsaw. A rusted flower. Laura added a wig. Where did they get these things? I have no idea.   
  
P-Head2: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SORRY!!! I'M SORRY FOR KILLING MARIA!!! TWICE!!!  
  
James: IT AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!! (sprays him with water and laundry soap)  
  
P-Head2: NOOOOO! NOT THE FRUITYNESS!! I WAS MEANT TO SMELL LIKE ROTTEN FLESH!!!  
  
Laura: SHUT UP!! (smacks him in the head with the "plank")  
  
IT'S MORE LIKE A STICK!!!  
  
THEN!! A DRESS APPEARED!! (ooo...Alfred Ashford style)  
  
P-Head2: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! NO!! ANYTHING BUT THE DRESS!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!  
  
SUDDENLY!! IT APPEARED ON P-HEAD!!!  
  
James/Laura: (laughing manically)  
  
P-Head2: (breaks loose and runs out screaming like a girl while passing the other PH outside still screaming)  
  
P-Head: What the...? I'll pretend I didn't see that. (goes inside restaurant) Hey, what happened?  
  
James/Laura: ^__^  
  
P-Head: (backs away)  
  
Both: (hungry looks)  
  
P-Head: (drops plate and runs out screaming) WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
James: WHOO!!! I feel so much better!! ^__^  
  
Maria: (comes in) James?  
  
James: '__'.......?  
  
Laura: Mary!! (runs to hug her)  
  
Maria: I'm not Mary.  
  
Laura: ..........  
  
James: I thought that thing killed you!! Wait...why does that sound familiar??? (shrugs)  
  
Maria: It did. I have no freggin idea how I came back. Meh. Well, see you guys later. I'm goin' to a bar. (leaves)  
  
James: ...........So.....I just did that for no reason....??  
  
Laura: Just think of it.....you're doing for Mary!!!  
  
James: BLAH!!!! (runs out arms flailing around)  
  
Laura: Hey wait!! (chases after him) Hey retard!! Wait up!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile back in James' house...  
  
James: LAURA!!!! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!!  
  
Laura: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I HAVE YOUR FAVORITE SPOON!!  
  
James: YOU BETTER NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THAT SPOON!!!  
  
Laura: Hehehe...  
  
She puts the spoon in front of a giant loon who craps on it and putting it back where she found it. THE LOON!! IT'S THE LOON!!  
  
Laura: Okay then! (unlocks door)  
  
James: Grrr!! (runs to the kitchen)  
  
Laura: (goes outside)  
  
James: O__O ..........O LAAAAUUUURRRRAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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Whoo! Rejoyce! R&R!! ^__^ Sunderland! The spacing probably is going to mess up. So...yeah. 


End file.
